Ah, spam emails. Don’t you just love them. ‘Isabella, hot blondes in your area!’, or ‘Isabella, need a bigger penis?’ (Well, I mean. . . maybe? They don’t write back when I ask for details though*)
Today though, I got my first writing-related spam. I’d love to know if any of you have had it as well.
It is from the a person representing The Books Machine. A person who foolishly included a Do-Not-Reply email address AND a regular one (Oh, what fun I could have…):
“Dear Isabella Cooke, (At least they spelt my name right)
I have recently come across your book Breaking the Stallion on Amazon (You mean my horse porn… right) and due to both its quality (Ah yes. Horse porn of the highest quality.) and plot (Man meets horse. Man *spoilers* fucks horse. Yep, really deep plot), it qualifies to be promoted in our community of readers.
Our press team’s offer includes help promoting books to thousands of readers in our community, whether at reduced or regular prices (Ah, the first hint of how authors are expected to pay/lose money for this). This is done through a deals promotion page on our website, a Facebook post with exclusive deals reaching over 25,000 readers (Well, 25k ‘likes’, but a reach of about 3 readers in reality) as well as a “Newsletter of the Day” that uses a unique and innovative marketing tool featuring an excerpt from your book within a unique customized layout. (Customised porn though. Wahey! Oh wait, that’s me. I write porn, and it doesn’t get much better than that)
The days currently available to feature your work in our newsletter are tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday.” (Interesting, since they sent this on a Friday. How come Sunday is left out? Poor Sunday.)
It didn’t take much (/any) sense to see this as a scam, but in case anyone has had the same: Basically this company wants authors to pay a monthly subscription fee, give people their books for free, and generally get walked over in exchange for the possibility of some reviews. In short: SCAMSPAM 😀
I guess nowadays safe sex includes sterilising one’s inbox after use 😉
*That’s a joke. Remember, don’t reply to spam. It just makes them notice you more.